Scrubs – Series Quotes [Season 3]

I know you say you love us all equally, but you don't, do you? I'm onto you, Big Man.

Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.

— But earlier, Dr Kelso was telling us that...
— I don't want to hear anything out of that man's mouth, unless it's: «My God. I'm dying. I'm moving towards the light. Wait, there's been a mistake. This is hell. Hello, Hitler. Hello, Mussolini. Captain Kangaroo. That's weird».

I'm happy when someone wins a battle, because around here you get your fair share of disappointment.

Elliot, I'm crazy about you, but I've been going over this in my head all week. I've been in a long-distance relationship before. It was a disaster. I believe a couple has a better chance if they just cut the cord and know that if it's meant to be, fate will bring them back together.

You know something? You have slept with both of my sisters. That means you and I something in common.

— You are an unpredictable, passionate person and you challenge me each and every day. That's the reason I can imagine being with you when I'm 70 and you're 65, and your face is 40 and your boobs are 29.
— My face'll never look 40.
— You're right. My bad.

Me, I don't believe in fate. I believe we have more control than we think, and that every action has a reaction. After all...

I haven't been this happy since Christmas when I was seven and my father showed me how to make a snow angel. Actually, he was passed out drunk in the yard but I did take his arms and his legs and move them back and forth and... the paramedics said it was a great snow angel.

Unfortunately for me, I wasn't in love with Elliot. But even though it was gonna be tough, I knew exactly what I had to do. I was going to stay with her for the rest of my life.

If there's something you know you can do, whether it's intubating a patient or copping a squat on the roof, and your mind keeps throwing up roadblocks, just know you can drive right through 'em.