Was either one of us giving you a vibe that we give a crap? Because, if so, that's an accident and we're sorry.
— Have you named this thing yet?
— I'm naming him after my father.
— Tax Evader?
— I'm assuming, since you already took everything else, that you're here for my self-respect, but there's bad news on that one, sweetcheeks. I already gave it to your mom when she begged me to marry you.
— I wouldn't have room for it, what with your testicles in my trophy case.
— Holy cow. Who's better? You got me by the short hairs.
— Well, it's for the best, 'cause if you knew, you just would get all panicky and annoying. And this way you only have to freak out for a couple of hours, most of which I'll be unconscious. Kind of like our honeymoon.
— Except this time when you wake up, you're going to have a baby girl in your arms instead of the Bolivian limbo champion.
— Oh, Marco! What a cheeky monkey! How come we don't travel any more?
— You know what's weird?
— Tell me.
— We're close, yet if anybody asks if we're married, all either one of us can say is no.
— I say we were married for five years, got divorced, now we have a child, but are in a long-term committed relationship.
— That's what I say, too. That or no.
John Dorian: — Since Jordan had pre-natal surgery, she'd been on bed rest. Dr Cox, however, was not.
Perry Cox: — Okay, I made you breakfast, the kitchen's as clean as a whistle, I'm gonna drop Jack off at daycare on the way to work. Is there anything else I can do for you?
Jordan Sullivan: — I need you to go to the video store and get me anything with Viggo something-sen. I need white chocolate, strawberry seltzer, peppercorn brie and a Polaroid of the tomato plant that I planted last spring because I'm worried it may have snails. Oh, and if you see that neighbour, Lena, from down the hall, I want you to roll your eyes and say the word «slut» under your breath,
but loud enough so she can hear. And don't forget to be home by 6:30 because you gotta give Jack his bath before you make my dinner.
Perry Cox: — But when will I have time to kill myself?
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