It's like a fucking boat, Tommy. Full of heavy cargo, like coal or iron. Sometimes it slips to one end. And the boat tips. I can feel it slipping. And I can feel the boat tipping. But there ain't nothing I can do about it. It's like me fuckin' head's just like this fuckin' black fucking barge! And it just fucking drifts in and out, in and out.
When you're struggling with your mental health, it's important to know what to do and acknowledge it. That's something I'm not ashamed of. I had to re-study things that completely flew out of my head. It was something like, "Hey, you're not a bad person. You're not a rude person. You're not crazy. You're none of these things, but you're going to have to deal with it. I know it's hard, but that's the reality." And I realized that the relationship with bipolar disorder and with myself... It's not going anywhere. I'm just trying to make friends with it now. I think I had to go through this to be who I am. And I'm going to keep going through it, but I'm really happy. I'm at peace. I'm angry. I'm sad. I'm confident. I am full of doubts. I'm working on myself. I am enough. I'm Selena.