— What are you?
— Oh, I have so many names...
— Satan.
— Call me Dad.
I'm a constant disappointment to my own father and I've learned to live with it.
"Dad... I'm a virgin."
"Okay, go. Virgin... Liking Edward a little bit more now."
— What was your father's profession?
— Well, he, erm... He told fortunes and stole horses. Often he would tell a man that his horse would be stolen and they would marvel at his powers when it was.
Even if yur father is a major ashole, call and tell him you lov him. Even if you don't mean at all. You might mean it later after he is gone forver.