Over 50 per cent of our lawsuits can be traced back to poor patient-doctor communication. To that end, if any of you still feel the need to flap your babble holes, you will be joining me in my new daily seminar on doctor-patient relations. My first invitee will be Dr Murphy, whom I overheard telling someone, «Stop bleeding, oh, God, please stop bleeding».
— So, how are my girls today? Fantastic. Listen...
— If you're here to do one of your "How are my girls today, now let me tell you some things you don't want to hear" routines, I'm in a mood, so it's probably in your best interes to make up some lame excuse and leave.
— Young lady, I will not be spoken to like that. Luckily for you, I have to go see Miss Fitzstrafoler.
— And this abomination is the reason we can't afford a new computer?
— Well, that... and the medical boondoggle I have to go to in Cleveland. And by medical boondoggle, I mean golf weekend, and by Cleveland, I mean Hawaii. <...> Anyway, I have to go catch my bus to the airport. And by bus, I mean helicopter.
— Tell him my most important rule, Ted.
— Too much ''ha-ha'', pretty soon ''boo-hoo''.
— My other rule.
— If you don't look for a mistake, you can't find one.
— That's right, Teddy bear. Now, stop looking for trouble just because you like this patient, and face the facts. Remove him, Ted.
— That ''ha-ha'' rule is true.