— Guilt...it's like a bag of fucking bricks. All you got to do...is set it down. I know what you're going through. I've been there. Just come here. Come here. Let it go. Who are you carrying all those bricks for? God? Is that it? God? I'll tell you...let me give you a little inside information about God. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts. He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do? I swear, for his own amusement...his own private, cosmic...gag reel. He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look, but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste. Taste, but don't swallow. And while you're jumping from one foot to the next, what is He doing? He's laughing his sick, fucking ass off! He's a tightass! He's a sadist! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? Never!
— "Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven," is that it?
— Why not? I'm here on the ground with my nose in it since the whole thing began! I've nurtured every sensation man has been inspired to have! I cared about what he wanted and I never judged him! Why? Because I never rejected him, in spite of all his imperfections! I'm a fan of man! I'm a humanist. Maybe the last humanist. Who, in their right mind... Kevin, could possibly deny....the 20th century was entirely mine? All of it, Kevin! All of it. Mine. I'm peaking, Kevin. It's my time now. It's our time.
Listen to me. You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. We don't need him! Fuck damnation, fuck redemption. First, you have to know, not fear... Know that some day, you're gonna die.
— Detective. What if I told you that God and the devil made a wager... a kind of standing bet for the souls of all mankind?
— I'd tell you to stay on your meds.
— Humor me! No direct contact with humans. That would be the rule! Just influence. See who would win.
— Okay, I'm humoring you. Why?
— Who knows. Maybe just for the fun of it. No telling!
— Oh, so it's fun. It's fun when a man beats his wife to death, when a mother drowns her baby. And you think the devil is responsible? People are evil, Mr. Constantine. So that's it.
— You're right. We're born capable of terrible things. Then sometimes something else comes along and gives us just the right nudge.
— Well, this has been real educational... but I don't believe in the devil.
— You should. He believes in you!