Scrubs – Series Quotes

Sometimes no matter how badly you want to stop something, there's nothing you can do to stop it.

— Well, sport. It looks like a permanent spot just opened up on the golf course. How does joining the Chief of Medicine for a weekly round sound?
— I’m not really that into golf.

— Hey stop being weird, I'm trying to eat my sandwich around some corpses.
— Why are you eating your lunch in here?
— Why are you yelling at a dead guy? See, we all have a lot of questions.

— It sounds like you're asking me out on a man-date.
— Turk, why are you so afraid of loving me?

Why is there an intern in my bathroom? It's not my birthday.

He's coding, get me box of kittens, stat!

— I got two minutes left on my break, how long is this surgery gonna take?
— Carla, cut the guy some slack. Surgery is not as easy as it looks. I mean, he's gotta make the incision, cut the wrong artery... Panic, collapse into a ball of tears in the corner,
and after all that he's gotta go wash up... Check the board, and find out who he'll be killing after lunch. It's... a grind.

Don't look her in the eyes, Newbie. She'll steal your soul.

Carla, if your wedding ceremony's gonna be in Spanish, then how will I know that you're officially married?

John Dorian: — You're an actor.
Janitor: — You're a fireman... What are we doing?
John Dorian: — Game over, Klaus. I saw you in «The Fugitive».
Janitor: — Oh, yeah. I was in a Harrison Ford movie, but I chose this life instead. It's a little more glamorous.
Dr. Bob Kelso: — Hey, champ. There's some vomit on the back steps with your name on it.
Janitor: — That's my cue. Action!
John Dorian: — Cut.

He's with Jesus now. Tough break, big guy.