Don't you suppose I know that you've lain in my arms and pretended I was Ashley Wilkes? Pleasant thing, that. Rather ghostly, in fact. Like having three in a bed where there ought to be just two." Oh, yes, you've been faithful to me because Ashley wouldn't have you. But, hell, I wouldn't have grudged him your body. I know how little bodies mean — especially women's bodies. But I do grudge him your heart and your dear, hard, unscrupulous, stubborn mind. He doesn't want your mind, the fool, and I don't want your body. I can buy women cheap. But I do want your mind and your heart, and I'll never have them, any more than you'll ever have Ashley's mind. And that's why I'm sorry for you.
I have an organ more important than my heart. Although you can’t see it, I feel it going through my head down to my feet, and I know it exists within me. It lets me stand on my feet, it lets me walk forward without trembling. If I stop here, I feel like it would break… My soul will break. Even if I become a hunchbacked old man, I will still go forward.
What I'm trying to say is I understand feeling as small and as insignificant as humanly possible. And how it can actually ache in places that you didn't know you had inside you. And it doesn't matter how many new haircuts you get, or gyms you join, or... how many glasses of chardonnay you drink with your girlfriends. You still go to bed every night, going over every detail, and wonder what you did wrong or how you could have misunderstood. And how in the hell, for that brief moment, you could think that you were that happy? And sometimes you can even convince yourself that he'll see the light and show up at your door. And after all that, however long all that may be, you'll go somewhere new. And you'll meet people who make you feel worthwhile again. And little pieces of your soul will finally come back. And all that fuzzy stuff, those years of your life that you wasted... that will eventually begin to fade.
to influence a person is to give him one's own soul. He does not think his natural thoughts, or burn with his natural passions. His virtues are not real to him. His sins, if there are such things as sins, are borrowed. He becomes an echo of someone else's music, an actor of a part that has not been written for him.