If a girl looks swell when she meets you, who gives a damn if she's late?
— How was your date?
— Short.
— Oh, really? Sorry. "Short", you mean like "leprechaun" short?
— You're the first man in years who didn't tell me l look like Veronica Lake.
— You look better than Veronica Lake.
Dating is stressful. But being alone is worse.
You want to be Kilimanjaro on your first date — inaccessible. Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?
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