Date, Rendezvous Quotes

— I need to get some air. We're going out tonight.
— Actually I've got a date.
— What?
— It's where two people who like each other go out and have fun.
— That's what I was suggesting.
— No it wasn't. At least I hope not.

— How was your date?
— Short.
— Oh, really? Sorry. "Short", you mean like "leprechaun" short?

— I should have brought the champagne.
— What?
— And because we've got the world's largest ice bucket.
— Second date? Did I miss the first?

— Have you ever had anyone?
— I'm sorry?
— And when I said "had", I'm being indelicate... I'll be delicate then. Let's have dinner.
— Why?
— You might be hungry.
— I'm not.
— Good.
— Why would I... want to have dinner if I wasn't hungry?

— Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
— Sounds like a date to me.

See, I have a policy. I won't go out with guys who won't tell me their names. I find it weeds out the ones who like to keep secrets, like they're already married or they store body parts in their freezer.

Every date is a disaster. Every relationship is out of control. But if you stick with it, you wind up with someone in your life who will help you when you need to be helped, love you when you do not feel lovable, be with you no matter what.

But that's a load of crap, because nobody is themselves when they start dating. Dating is just acting like you're somebody you're not until the person likes you enough so you can show them who you really are.

Dating is stressful. But being alone is worse.