Phoebe Buffay – Character Quotes

— Where's Chandler?
— He needed time to grieve.
— I' m free! I' m free!
— That ought to do it.

— I should get back to work.
— Otherwise someone might get what they ordered.

— I brought alphabet soup.
— Pick out the vowels? I left in the Y's. Because, "sometimes Y."

— You can't give up on your dream!
— No, it's okay. We're going to have three kids. And that's a different kind of dream. Three kids and no money.

Phoebe Buffay: — If I were omnipotent for a day, I would want world peace... no hunger, good things for the rain forest. And bigger boobs.
Ross Geller: — Well, see, you took mine. What about you?
Chandler Bing: — If I were omnipotent for a day, I'd make myself omnipotent forever.
Rachel Green: — There's always one guy. "lf I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes."

Phoebe Buffay: — What's wrong? Why so scrunchie?
Rachel Green: — My father wants to give me a Mercedes convertible.
Ross Geller: — That guy, he burns me up.

— We ordered the Joey Special.
— Two pizzas?

Rachel Green: — Now, how come you guys have never played poker with us?
Phoebe Buffay: — Yeah, what is that? Like some kind of sexist guy thing? It's poker, so only guys can play?
Ross Geller: — No. Women can play.
Phoebe Buffay: — Then, what is it? Some kind of, like, some kind of, you know... All right, what is it?

— What you guys don't understand is... for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
— Yeah, right.
— ...
— You serious?
— Oh, yeah.
— Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
— Yeah, I think, for us... kissing is pretty much like an opening act. I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through... before Pink Floyd comes out.
— Yeah, and it's not that we don't like the comedian. It's just that that's not why we bought the ticket.

— Okay. Don't get mad, okay?
— Okay, don't give me a reason to get mad, okay?

I still can not believe you're engaged. Just because it's happening so fast. Not because you're a loser.

The way to quit smoking is to dance naked in a field of heather... and then bathe in the sweat of six healthy young men.

— I'm smoking!
— You've been so good for three years!
— And this is my reward.

I'm in the shower
And I'm writing a song
Stop me if you've heard it
My skin is soapy and my hair is wet
And Tegrin spelled backward is nirget