— But, Ashley, what are you afraid of?
— Mostly of having life suddenly become too real.
I do mind, very much, the loss of the beauty of the old life I loved. And I am fitted for nothing in this world, for the world I belonged in has gone. When the war came, life as it really is thrust itself against me. I saw my boyhood friends blown to bits and heard dying horses scream and learned the sickeningly horrible feeling of seeing men crumple up and spit blood when I shot them. Scarlett, before the war, life was beautiful.
And now it is gone and I am out of place in this new life, and I am afraid.
You know, when you're a kid, you wanna be just like your dad. Then when you're a teenager... you don't wanna have anything to do with him. Then when you grow up, you end up just like him. My dad showed me one thing when he died. He wasn't dying, he was giving up. No matter what happens to me today, my children will see that I didn't give up. And I can die knowing that.
Multos timere debet, quem multi timent.
I did not want to die a coward. Apparently I do not want to die at all.
Sometimes I think everyone is just pretending to be brave, and none of us really are. Maybe pretending is how you get brave, I don't know.
— If you ask me, as long as you got this job... you got nothing pushing you to get another one. You need The Fear.
— The Fear?
— He's right. If you quit this job, you then have motivation... to go after a job you really want.
— How come you're still at a job you hate? Why don't you quit and get The Fear?
— Because I'm too afraid.