Funny Quotes about Sex Quotes

— Let's say we're caught in a situation where we have five minutes left to live. A bomb or something's gonna go off. Would you fuck us then?
— In that highly unlikely situation? Yeah, sure.
— Yeah? She's a slut.

— Sex is pretty basic, right? Am I pretty much talking you out of this?
— Strangely, not at all. How do you feel about foreplay?
— I think it's overrated. Significantly overrated.
— You are quickly becoming one of the most interesting girls I've ever met.

— Hey. What's he like?
— God? Lonely... but funny. He's got a great sense of humor. Sex, for example. There's nothing funnier than the ridiculous faces you people make mid-coitus.
— Sex is a joke in heaven?
— The way I understand it, it's mostly a joke down here too.

— Sounds to me like someone is afraid of commitment. Let me guess. Your high school sweetheart got drunk at party... then cheated on you with whole wrestling team.
— Close. Actually, it was my college girlfriend Tracy. And it wasn't a wrestling team. It was her academic advisor.
— Oh, she liked the older man.
— Older women. About 50 years older.

— Professor... the little wigglyworm things are breaking.
— Look.
— He's not breaking. It's splitting.
— It's mitosis. That's how they reproduce.
— No sex?
— No time for sex.
— Bummer!

— Come to my quarters tomorrow at three.
— I can't.
— Please!
— It's immoral. What time?
— Who is to say what is moral?
— Morality is subjective.
— Subjectivity is objective.
— Moral notions imply attributes to substances which exist only in relational duality.
— Not as an essential extension of ontological existence.
— Can we not talk about sex so much?

— Sex without love is an empty experience.
— Yes, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best.

— Is it your first time?
— No. I've imagined it many times.