Severe stress makes women age prematurely because stress causes the DNA in our cells to shrink until they can no longer replicate. So when we're stressed, we look haggard. This is just women, not men. I'm sorry. And remember they used to say that single women over 35 were more likely to be killed by a terrorist than to get married. Okay, that was horrible. But now our generation is also not getting married. And bonus, real terrorists actually became part of our lives. So the stress of it all shows up on our faces, making us look haggard.
I need to get out of town. You know, I think I need some peace and quiet or whatever it is people go away for.
You know what I really wanna do? I... I wanna eat carbs without wanting to kill myself.