The next time you drink black coffee, you will feel its bitterness and cry, but you will never give it up, because even bitterness is better than nothing.
— "Kopi Luwak is the world's most expensive coffee. Though for some, it falls under the category of 'too good to be true.' In the Sumatran village where the beans are grown... lives a breed of wild tree cat. These cats eat the beans, digest them and then... defecate. The villagers then collect and process the stools. It is the combination of the beans and the gastric juices of the tree cat... that give Kopi Luwak its unique flavor... and aroma. You're shitting me.
— Cats beat me to it.
Ladies. This is that beverage I've been trying to describe to you, and it turns out, this is weird, but the secret is, you grind it from beans, not crap.
— Listen, I was wondering... Maybe later, when you're finished...
— You're wearing lipstick. You're weren't wearing lipstick before.
— I, er... I refreshed it a beat.
— Sorry, you were saying?
— I was wondering if you'd like to have coffee.
— Black, two sugars, please. I'll be upstairs.
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