Edward Cole – Character Quotes

I mean, what would a snail have to do to move up in the lineup? Lay down a perfect trail of slime?

We live. We die. And the wheels on the bus go round and round.

...but the last months of his life... were the best months of mine. He saved my life. And he knew it before I did.

— Make a fool of myself?
— Never too late.

— "Kopi Luwak is the world's most expensive coffee. Though for some, it falls under the category of 'too good to be true.' In the Sumatran village where the beans are grown... lives a breed of wild tree cat. These cats eat the beans, digest them and then... defecate. The villagers then collect and process the stools. It is the combination of the beans and the gastric juices of the tree cat... that give Kopi Luwak its unique flavor... and aroma. You're shitting me.
— Cats beat me to it.

Don't think about money. That's all I got is money.

— How much money do you have anyway?
— Didn't anyone ever tell you... that it's rude to talk about someone else's money?
— I never knew anyone with enough to ask.

Three things to remember when you get older: Never pass up a bathroom... never waste a hard-on, and never trust a fart.

Boys and girls, you need me. I do not need you.

Edward Cole: — So you decided?
Carter Chambers: — No, I couldn't think of anything I wanted to be stuck with permanently.
Edward Cole: — What's permanently? We're gonna be dead in five minutes.
Tattoo Artist: — What?
Edward Cole: — Figure of speech. So no Confederate flag, no black Jesus.
Carter Chambers: — No, I'm gonna...
Edward Cole: — Pass. Yeah, sure.
Carter Chambers: — Well, I never agreed to desecrate my body.
Edward Cole: — You worried they won't bury you in a Jewish cemetery?

— I always meant to go back... but 45 years goes by pretty fast.
— Like smoke through a keyhole.