Do you know what makes a human being decent? Fear. And therein lies the problem. None of you has anything to fear anymore. You rest comfortably in seats of inscrutable power, hiding behind your false idol, far from judgement — lives shrouded in secrecy even from one another. But not from God.
Oh, no, I've seen way too many Bond movies to know that you never reveal all the details of your plan no matter how close you may think you are to winning.
— You know, here's what I don't get about you. You know for a fact that there is a God. You've been in his presence. He's spoken to you personally. Yet I heard you claim to be atheist.
— I like to fuck with the clergy. I just love it. I love to keep those guys on their toes.
Is this why I had to come down here and miss my fucking cartoons?
Now who's the fucking child? What did you tell him, to hit me with the golf club? Are you serious? I'm a fucking demon. You'd have him assault me with a putter?
His only real beef with mankind is the shit that gets carried out in his name.
— Our last four days on earth. If I had a dick, I'd go get laid. But we can do the next best thing.
— What's that?
— Let's kill people.
A very basic strategy — if your enemies know where you are, then don't be there.
— Jesus. You're a Catholic. Can't you talk to them?
— They hate me more than you, no doubt. You have an excuse. You're Jewish. You don't know any better.
— We already used that excuse when we killed Christ.
Metatron acts as the voice of God. Any occasion when some yahoo claims that God has spoken to them... they're speaking to me. Or they're talking to themselves.
— One of the last sacred promises imparted to Peter the first Pope by the Son of God before He left was: «Whatever you hold true on earth...»
— «I'll hold true in Heaven».
— What's your proof?
— He's wearing a wedding band.
— And it never occurred to you that maybe she's his wife?
— No married man kisses his wife like that.
— Okay. Well, it's a good thing you were never the deciding member on a jury is all I'm saying. "No married man kisses his wife like that"? Are you stoned?
Take it and quit leering at me. People will think I broke up with you.
— Let it never be said that your anal retentive attention to detail never yielded positive results.
— You can't be anal retentive if you don't have an anus.
But one of the drawbacks to being intangible is that you have no say in the editorial process. The people that held the pens added their own perspective and all the penholders were men. So she became a he. Doesn't stop with God either. The whole book's gender-biased. A woman's responsible for original sin. A woman cuts Samson's coif of power. A woman asks for the head of John the Baptist. Read that book again. Women are bigger antagonists than Egyptians and Romans combined. It stinks.