Please, don't blame the animals. Man is the only creature that kills to kill.
— How do we wanna get rid of him?
— Do you want to shoot him?
— It's a little noisy, isn't it?
— Do you want to stab him?
— That's a little cold-blooded, isn't it?
— Do you want to kill him or not?
— I'm definetly going to kill you!
— Oh, please, killing me, that's so two years ago.
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carving up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business. In storms my husband, Wilbur, in a jealous rage. "You been screwin' the milkman,"
he says. He was crazy, and he kept on screamin', "You been screwin' the milkman!" And then he ran into my knife. He ran into my knife 10 times.
— Well, you have just killed the man.
— Yes, I... It's true... But he wasn't a very nice man.
You know how people have these little habits that get you down? Like Bernie. Bernie liked to chew gum. No, not chew. Pop. So I came home this one day, and I'm really irritated... and I'm looking for a little bit of sympathy. There's Bernie lyin' on the couch... drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'! So I said to him, "You pop that gum one more time..." And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall... and I fired two warning shots into his head.
I met Ezekial Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago, and he told me he was single, and we hit it off right away. So we started living together. He'd go to work. He'd come home. I'd fix him a drink. We'd have dinner. And then I found out. Single, he told me? Single, my ass. Not only was he married... Oh, no... He had six wives. One of those Mormons. So that night
when he came home from work... I fixed him his drink, as usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their arsenic.
If you love fighting so much, then stop whining that you weren't killed. Never admit defeat and ask for a quick death! Die first, then admit defeat! If you are defeated but didn’t die, it just means you were lucky! At those times, think only about survival! Survive and think only about killing the one who failed to kill you!