An abortion clinic worker with a special heritage is called upon to save the existence of humanity from being negated by two renegade angels trying to exploit a loop-hole and reenter Heaven.
— Someone told me I'd meet you, and you'd take me somewhere I was supposed to go. I didn't believe it until you said that thing in the parking lot.
— What the hell are you babbling about? All I know is we saved your ass from some angry fucking dwarfs and you promised us se~..
<...>
...and now you're telling me that I'm supposed to take you somewhere, and you don't even know where it is?
— I feel like I'm Han Solo, and you're Chewie, and she's Ben Kenobi, and we're in that fucked up bar.
Now who's the fucking child? What did you tell him, to hit me with the golf club? Are you serious? I'm a fucking demon. You'd have him assault me with a putter?
A very basic strategy — if your enemies know where you are, then don't be there.
— My ex-husband sort of screwed up my relationship awareness barometer.
— You're divorced.
— That's a nice way of putting it. I call it being dumped.
— I was dumped once.
— Don't you just constantly question your value? Like, why was I so easy to cast aside?
— And you wonder if the other party is gonna come to their senses and call you back.
— And they always tell you it'll hurt less with time.
— When actually it hurts more.
— You know what we need?
— What do we need?
— We need drinks. We need a lot of drinks.
— Wars, bigotry, televangelism. The big one, though, is the factioning of all the religions. He said mankind got it all wrong by taking a good idea and building a belief structure on it.
— You're saying having beliefs is a bad thing?
— I just think it's better to have ideas. You can change an idea. Changing a belief is trickier. People die for it. People kill for it.
It doesn't take a muse to inspire horny retards to empty their wallets.
— This girl's no woman.
— Oh. Those weren't tits I saw Jay cozying up to?
— What, these? You should know better than anyone here that tits don't make a woman.
— The tubby, coat-wearing motherfucker's got tits.
— ... I think I've been a pretty good sport about all this so far. But I'm not going anywhere until I find out where you came from.
— Me? I came from heaven. Now let's start walking.
— Walk? Fuck you! Do you know how far we are from anywheres?
— Hey, man, back in the old days with J. C., we used to walk everywhere. Did you ever hear of a fat apostle?
— What's your proof?
— He's wearing a wedding band.
— And it never occurred to you that maybe she's his wife?
— No married man kisses his wife like that.
— Okay. Well, it's a good thing you were never the deciding member on a jury is all I'm saying. "No married man kisses his wife like that"? Are you stoned?
