— Hello, people who do not live here.
— Hi.
— I gave you a key for emergencies.
— We were out of Doritos.
— Come on, you didn't kill anybody. These people just happened to die when you went to the dentist. It's just a coincidence.
— Tell that to them. Oh, you can't! They're dead!
— Hey, Mon, what is this?
— Oh, um... That's my bathing suit from high school. I was a little bigger then.
— Oh, I thought that's what they used to cover Connecticut when it rains.
— I should get back to work.
— Otherwise someone might get what they ordered.
— Anyway, I think we should go out and celebrate. You know, someplace nice.
— Someplace nice.
— How much you think I can get for my kidney?
— We haven't known each other for that long a time. And, um, there are three things that you should know about me. One, my friends are the most important thing in my life. Two, I never lie. And three, I make the best oatmeal-raisin cookies in the world.
— Okay. Thanks, Pheebs. Mm, my God. Why have I never tasted these before?
— Oh, I don't make them a lot... because I don't think it's fair to the other cookies.
— And there's $500 extra in my account.
— Satan's minions at work again!
— Where's Chandler?
— He needed time to grieve.
— I' m free! I' m free!
— That ought to do it.
— What you guys don't understand is... for us, kissing is as important as any part of it.
— Yeah, right.
— ...
— You serious?
— Oh, yeah.
— Everything you need to know is in that first kiss.
— Yeah, I think, for us... kissing is pretty much like an opening act. I mean, it's like the stand-up comedian you have to sit through... before Pink Floyd comes out.
— Yeah, and it's not that we don't like the comedian. It's just that that's not why we bought the ticket.
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head
And grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers
