— Will you take me swimming in the ocean?
— Can we talk about it after my head stops exploding?
— Why is your head exploding?
— Well, I drank a little too much wine last night.
— If it makes you feel bad, why do you drink it?
— Nobody likes a wiseass, Jake.
— You have to put one dollar in the swear jar. You said "ass".
— Tell you what, here's twenty. That should cover me till lunch.
— These clothes look stupid.
— You're 10. No one cares.
— Here, put these on.
— I wore these yesterday.
— They're still extremely stylish. Put them on.
— What doesn't kill us makes us stronger.
— Well, then you must be, like, the Hulk.
Explanation:
Jake hit his head, they're going to the hospital
— Want some cake?
— I don't eat sugar.
— Oh, yeah, me neither. Unless it's in, like, pies and cookies and stuff.
— Why are they fighting?
— They're not fighting. They're discussing.
— I'm a child of divorce, Dad. I know the difference.
— You know what, it doesn't matter if I look cool, we judge a person by what's inside them, not by what they wear.
— Lucky for you.
— How do you stop being afraid?
— Well, I drink.
— Uncle Charlie's a genius.
— In a sense. But there's book smart and "look smart".
Explanation:
Charlie gave his nephew good advice on how to please the most beautiful girl in the class.