The Simpsons

Everybody makes mistakes. That's why they put erasers on pencils.

— Who wants to put on a leotard and get screamed at.
— Well, hookers and Spider-man.

Please there's gotta be something else I can do. Like mow your lawn every week for two weeks. I can't do it next week.

Just because I don't care doesn't mean I don't understand.

If only these walls could talk. Then people would pay to see my talking walls.

I like to cry at the ocean, because only there do my tears seem small.

— See that fat lady with the moustache? That's you.
— See that hippo rolling in dung? You're the dung.

Just pick a dead end and chill out till you die.

Baby turtles and alligators may seem like a cute idea for a pet, but they grow up.

There are time in life when the truth is not black nor white, but a subtle shade of gray.

Must have been a pretty slow century...

Without TV, it's hard to tell when one day ends and the other begins.

Eternal happiness for one dollar? I'd be happier with the dollar.

Real songs are about deals with the devil, far-off lands, and where you'd find smoke in relation to water.

Eat my shorts!