Friends – Series Quotes [Season 1, Episode 1]

Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

— Anyway, I just didn't know where to go, and I know you and I have drifted apart but you're the only person I know in the city.
— Who wasn't invited to the wedding.
— Oh, I was kind of hoping that wouldn't be an issue.

— Do you think it would be okay if I ask you out sometime, maybe?
— Yeah. Maybe.
— Okay. Okay, maybe I will.

— I feel like someone grabbed my small intestine, pulled it out of my mouth... and tied it around my neck.
— Cookie?

— Okay, everybody relax. This is not even a date. It's just two people going out to dinner and not having sex.
— Sounds like a date to me.

Come on, Daddy, listen to me! It's like all of my life, everyone's always told me, "You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe! You're a shoe!" Then today I stopped and said, "What if I don't wanna be a shoe? What if I wanna be a purse? You know? Or a hat?" I don't want you to buy me a hat, I am a hat. It's a metaphor, Daddy! <...> Well, maybe that's my decision. Well, maybe I don't need your money. Wait! Wait! I said maybe!

Joey Tribbiani: — Hey. Ross, let me ask you a question. She got the furniture, the stereo, the good TV. What did you get?
Ross Geller: — You guys.
Chandler Bing: — Oh, God. Oh, my God.
Joey Tribbiani: — You got screwed.

— Welcome back to the world. Grab a spoon.
— I honestly don't know if I'm hungry or horny.
— Then stay out of my freezer.

Rachel Green: — So, like, you guys all have jobs?
Monica Geller: — Yeah, we all have jobs. See, that's how we buy stuff.
Joey Tribbiani: — Yeah, I'm an actor.
Rachel Green: — Wow. Would I have seen you in anything?
Joey Tribbiani: — Oh, I doubt it. Mostly regional work.
Monica Geller: — Unless you happened to catch the Wee One's production of Pinocchio.
Chandler Bing: — "Look, Geppeto. I'm a real live boy."
Joey Tribbiani: — I will not take this abuse.
Chandler Bing: — You're right. I'm sorry. Once I was a wooden boy, A little wooden boy...