Phoebe Buffay – Character Quotes

— Look what we almost left!
— That's not mine.
— Look what we almost took!

A stripper at a bachelor party. That is so cliche. Why don't you guys get a magician?

— Has anybody seen my engagement ring?
— Yeah, it's beautiful.

I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope.

— The One With the List. All right, check out this bad boy! Twelve megabytes of RAM, 500-megabyte hard drive... built-in spreadsheet capabilities... and a modem that transmits at over 28,000 BPS.
— What will you use it for?
— Games and stuff.

— So I figured it out.
— What?
— Why Scott doesn't want to sleep with me. I'm not sexy enough.
— Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said?
— What?
— I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."

Did you notice how he always starts his stories with, um: "Okay, I was so wasted," or, "Oh, we were so bombed." Or, um, "So I wake up and I'm in this Dumpster in Connecticut."

— Pheebs, back me up. You believe in that karma crap, don't you?
— By the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle.

— You don't believe in gravity?
— Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it. Lately I get the feeling that... I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

— Remember how we talked about saying things quietly to yourself first?
— Yes, but there isn't always time.

— Oh, my God! Something brushed up against my right leg.
— What?
— Oh, it's okay. It was just my left leg.

He's sweet, but it's not fun anymore. I don't know if it's me or his hunger strike, I don't know.

— I love you.
— I love you more.
— It`s impossible!

Ooh, I just pulled out four eyelashes. That can't be good.

Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo"
Then the farmer hits him on the head
And grinds him up
And that's how we get hamburgers

— Um, you got a minute?
— Um, yeah, I'm just working.