Bob Kelso – Character Quotes

86 quotes

Bob Kelso

Robert "Bob" Kelso, M. D., is a fictional character played by Ken Jenkins in the American comedy-drama Scrubs.

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Bob Kelso is the chief of medicine for Sacred Heart Hospital for the first seven seasons of Scrubs (a position held since 1984), though he resigns in the episode "My Dumb Luck". Kelso appeared in every episode during the first eight seasons except three Season 8 episodes, "My Last Words", "Their Story II" and "My Full Moon".

Jenkins was a regular cast member for the first eight seasons, and appeared in nine episodes of season nine.

Quoted in:

Actor:

Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.

Hey, champ! What has two thumbs and doesn't give a crap? Bob Kelso. How ya doin'.

Sarcastic Quotes

God! Do I know women.

God! Do I know women.

Sarcastic Quotes

— Sir, l have to say, I'm offended.
— Oh, no. Now I have to go buy flowers to make it right.

- Sir, l have to say, I'm offended.
- Oh, no. Now I have to go buy flowers to make it right.

- Sir, l have to say, I'm offended.
- Oh, no. Now I have to go buy flowers to make it right.

Dr. Elliot Reid

Sarcastic Quotes

— Well, sport. It looks like a permanent spot just opened up on the golf course. How does joining the Chief of Medicine for a weekly round sound?
— I’m not really that into golf.

- Well, sport. It looks like a permanent spot just opened up on the golf course. How does joining the Chief of Medicine for a weekly round sound?
- I’m not really that into golf.

- Well, sport. It looks like a permanent spot just opened up on the golf course. How does joining the Chief of Medicine for a weekly round sound?
- I’m not really that into golf.

— I'm Bob Kelso, and my life is so empty that I still come here every day to stuff my face with muffins. And I like prostitutes.
— That's funny 'cause it's true.

- I'm Bob Kelso, and my life is so empty that I still come here every day to stuff my face with muffins. And I like prostitutes.
- That's funny 'cause it's true.

- I'm Bob Kelso, and my life is so empty that I still come here every day to stuff my face with muffins. And I like prostitutes.
- That's funny 'cause it's true.

— If you like her, you can't keep lying to her about who you are!
— Hogwash! Lie forever, it's the natural form of communication between men and women.

- If you like her, you can't keep lying to her about who you are!
- Hogwash! Lie forever, it's the natural form of communication between men and women.

- If you like her, you can't keep lying to her about who you are!
- Hogwash! Lie forever, it's the natural form of communication between men and women.

I remember my son Harrison's big day. All of us laughing at him in his frilly little baptism dress. Well, we're not laughing anymore. Harrison's a poofter.

I remember my son Harrison's big day. All of us laughing at him in his frilly little baptism dress. Well, we're not laughing anymore. Harrison's a poofter.

I remember my son Harrison's big day. All of us laughing at him in his frilly little baptism dress. Well, we're not laughing anymore. Harrison's a poofter.

Gutter ball! Yesterday you were running around my hospital half-naked. Yeah, baby. Today you're mucking up my rounds. Is your ponytail too tight? Perhaps you have a case of the boogie-woogie flu? Something is different, because you are slipping.

Gutter ball! Yesterday you were running around my hospital half-naked. Yeah, baby. Today you're mucking up my rounds. Is your ponytail too tight? Perhaps you have a case of the boogie-woogie flu? Something is different, because you are slipping.

Gutter ball! Yesterday you were running around my hospital half-naked. Yeah, baby. Today you're mucking up my rounds. Is your ponytail too tight? Perhaps you have a case of the boogie-woogie flu? Something is different, because you are slipping.

Sarcastic Quotes

— Bob, how are you?
— Fine, Allan. Today, I think I'll try a double half-caf multi-foam latte mochaccino with a shot of vanilla and a sprinkle of nutmeg.
— Black coffee?
— Bingo-bango.

- Bob, how are you?
- Fine, Allan. Today, I think I'll try a double half-caf multi-foam latte mochaccino with a shot of vanilla and a sprinkle of nutmeg.
- Black coffee?
- Bingo-bango.

- Bob, how are you?
- Fine, Allan. Today, I think I'll try a double half-caf multi-foam latte mochaccino with a shot of vanilla and a sprinkle of nutmeg.
- Black coffee?
- Bingo-bango.

coffee salesman

— Hmm...
— What?
— I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show?

- Hmm...
- What?
- I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show?

- Hmm...
- What?
- I was wondering how you comb your hair so the horns don't show?

Sarcastic Quotes

How does that taste? Bitter? Hard to get down?

How does that taste? Bitter? Hard to get down?

Sarcastic Quotes

— That was what I said this morning.
— Yeah, it sounded familiar.

- That was what I said this morning.
- Yeah, it sounded familiar.

I just came to check on my favourite patient. I must have the wrong room.

I just came to check on my favourite patient. I must have the wrong room.

Sarcastic Quotes

That's a great anecdote. You should write that down in your journal. Then your kids can read about it when you're dead.

That's a great anecdote. You should write that down in your journal. Then your kids can read about it when you're dead.

That's a great anecdote. You should write that down in your journal. Then your kids can read about it when you're dead.

Sarcastic Quotes

— Hey... That's a nice jacket, Ted. What is it, wool?
— It's a poly-nylon blend do you really like it?
— No. Bathroom's just put of paper towels.

- Hey... That's a nice jacket, Ted. What is it, wool?
- It's a poly-nylon blend do you really like it?
- No. Bathroom's just put of paper towels.

- Hey... That's a nice jacket, Ted. What is it, wool?
- It's a poly-nylon blend do you really like it?
- No. Bathroom's just put of paper towels.

Are you on call tonight or will you be busy fighting Superman? You look like Lex Luthor.

Are you on call tonight or will you be busy fighting Superman? You look like Lex Luthor.