— You're overthinking this. When your dog dies, you don't make a list. You bury him, plant a shrub on top, tell the kids he's running around a farm, and move on.
— That's actually a very apt metaphor. My failed marriage is like a dead dog. But it serves as fertilizer for the shrub, which represents my new life. So if I try to revitalize the marriage... You know, digging up the dog... then I'm killing the shrub, which is me.
— Wow, pregnancy's a wild ride, huh? One minute she's loving and affectionate and the next minute she's, well...
— Cruel? Vengeful? Castrating?
— I was gonna say "moody".
— Wait for it.
— Do you really want me to tell 10-year-old boy that somebody he cares about was pretending to like him? What kind of lesson is that?
— He lives in LA. He might as well learn now.
— Bonjour! Are you a friend of Charlie's?
— I'm his brother. So, no.
— Did you get Myra to the airport?
— Yep. And you know what? I'll never see her again. I was just a meaningless fling to that girl. Huh. I'll bet this is that whole karma thing people talk about.
— Could be.
— You know that feeling you get when... somebody's gone from your life... and you suddenly realize that you miss them?
— Yeah?
— I don't care for it.
— Alan, you've been making the same mistake your whole life. Being the good boy, fixing everything so everybody would love you. It didn't work with Mom. It didn't work with either of the women you went out with. And it's not gonna work with your wife.
— Charlie, you know nothing about commitment and responsibility to a relationship.
— Granted. But I do know when a woman's using me. And by that I mean not in a fun way.