Doctor Herb Melnik – Character Quotes

— Married men live, on average, 10 years longer than single men.
— What if they don't want to?

— ... I just found out I have a lump on my groin.
— Bad place for a lump.
— Tell me a good place.
— Somebody else's groin.

— Wow, pregnancy's a wild ride, huh? One minute she's loving and affectionate and the next minute she's, well...
— Cruel? Vengeful? Castrating?
— I was gonna say "moody".
— Wait for it.