— Never wrestle with a pig, Ms. Hensen, you'll both get dirty, only the pig likes it!
— At least I know what species of animal I'm dealing with.
Quoted in:
Actress:
— Oh! Mr. Turner. Come in.
— Someone's excited to see me?
— Hell... that always happens when I wear a rayon blouse with no bra. Color me embarrassed.
— I am very pleased with cindy's performance. I guess this illness has had a profound effect on her after all. Or... you have.
— Thank you.
— Anyway... I have something for you. It's the first paycheck that Cindy actually deserves.
— Forgot all about that. That's great. You look nice today.
— Thank you. But may I remind you, you've been around a sick woman?
— No, you have a definite glow.
— If you're not taking him, I will.
— Iris, what are you babbling about?
— He obviously wants one of us.
— He has a girlfriend.
— What the hell. She'll be dead soon, anyway.
— Iris!
— The sexy turquoise one with the spaghetti straps, honey.
— No, I was looking for today's galleys.
— Right there on your desk.
— I see. Thank you. Not the navy suit?
— You don't think I'd fit in with the elitist, high-brow, artsy fartsy downtown scene? I can be as progressive as the next guy.
— Okay, come on.
— What is «projected pastels»?
— You'll see.
— Okay, maybe not as progressive as the next guy.
— The artist inserts the hose and fills himself with paint.
— You're kidding?! You're not kidding.
— Now he'll projectile release the paint onto the canvas.
— Whatever happened to brushes?
— He calls it «Enemart». It represents the waste of his life being released from the bowels of his being. Do you find this offensive?
— No. No. What about this could possibly be offensive?
— I'm so sorry.
— Just because I got a little paint in the face from a man's ass?
— But it was a well respected ass. You should have seen your expression. It was actually kind of cute.
— You usually sneak out of bed and leave a woman in the middle of the night?
— I'm sorry. But last night I came up with an idea that could save your paper.
— How?
— Beating Simpson at his own game. If I can get 200 grand, I can turn it into millions. I borrowed 50. How much do you have?
— She has nothing.
— Less than nothing. If you count interest.
— Damn it. where am I going to get my hands on 150 grand?
— Here's my checkbook.
— Iris, no. I don't want your money.
— You have 150 grand?
— In one of my accounts.
— She's loaded.
— I'm a great housekeeper. Three divorces... I kept every house.
— She just works here for fun.
— Or until I find my next husband.
— Iris, I'll pay you back.
— Oh, I don't want it back. I just want a piece. I want part ownership of whatever he has planned, or I'll cash all my paychecks, and break you.
