Neal Oliver – Character Quotes

— All right... What's the trick?
— Trick?
— Where is the food? Can't all be in your stomach.
— Actually, I don't know. The fact is, I always loved eating. More than anything. Go into a restaurant, want to order everything on the menu. But, I was always frustrated, by the small capacity of my stomach. Well, 17 years ago, I made a wish... And amazingly enough it came true. Now I have, what you might call,
a black hole in my belly. Onely I have to keep eating like this, six or seven times a day. Gets expensive. So, I travel a lot, and take
advantage of guys like you to pay for it.
— That's a good one.
— Excuse me, mister. I've got to know one thing. Do you still love eating?
— No... now it's a drag.

— I'm not doing it. Period.
— So, you just. You are not man enough? You meet a real woman and you turn in to a wuss? Think you want measure up, hmmm?
— Well, you'll never know, will you? Because if I don't do it... I want be number 2000 and whatever. I'll be number One. That one guy. Guy you will remember for the rest of your life. You stay up at night, thinking about me, wondering, Was he the One? The answer is yes. I am the perfect fuck. The one you never had... Perfect on every way...

— So, where you going Laura?
— Me? Oh, I'm going to a... find a perfect fuck.
— Wow, that's an interesting destination.
— Yeah, ever been there?
— Can't say that I have.
— Me either. But so far the trip's been pretty exciting.
— Only, how will you know, when you've gotten there?

— It's a strange coincidence, seeing you here again.
— Only if you believe in coincidence. I prefer inevitability. Every event is inevitable. If it wasn't, it wouldn't happen.

Well. See, all my girlfriends, are always a reaction to the one I had last. Janet was so opinionated about my art, it drove me crazy. So I found Sally, who refuses to be judgemental about it. Meanwhile she's trying to psychoanalyse me. So she is not the one either.

— Black harts, red spades? Come on, that's like cheating.
— Aa, experience has conditioned you, thinking that all harts are red, and all spades are black. Because their shapes are similar. It's easier for your mind to interpret them based on that passed experience. Then open to an idea that they can be different. We see what we expect to see. Not necessarily, what's really there. Children, who have never played cards, always pass this test. Makes you wonder how many other things are right in front of you, sight, sound, smell that you can't expirience, because you've been conditioned not to? If we'll do the test again you will pass. Once you are aware, that their can be black harts and red spades, you'll be able to parse them.

How would you know, what it's like to not have something, you never had?

Now Grant would say, it was inevitable. That at least once in a infinite universe, events would happen that way, and this was that time.

— And I'll need you to seal it with the drop of your blood.
— Blood?
— Of course. I'm the DEVIL. Just kidding.

— You set in my car, with your own package. Why didn't you take it?
— Well, you made a deal. What kind of guy would I be if I caused you to... violate your blood oath? And, besides, it's the fact that you lost all your money... and you went to jail... you left to girl... ditched your car... All, to bring this to me? Makes it far more valuable. Now it has... stories to go with it. Well... Don't you want to know what's inside?
— I did before, but... doesn't really matter now... 'cause, whatever it is... won't be as good as the stories.
— Well seing as you understand that. I'll open it.

— Ever hear Fred Turned mister Oliver?
— No sir.
— Well, he was an historian. About a hundert years ago, he came up with the theory about the Frontiere. Said, the Frontiere was a... safty velve for civilization. Place for people to go, to keep them from going mad. So... whanever were folks, who couldn't fit in with ways things were... Nuts, malcontents, extremists... Thay'd packed up and head for the Frontiere. So America got started. All the crackpods and trouble makers in Europa, packed up, and went to a Frontiere, which became, The Thirteen Colonies... When some people couldn't fit in with that, they moved further west. Which is why all the nust eventually ended up in Califonia. Turned died in 1942. So, he wond around long enought to see what would happen to the World, when we ran out of Frontiere. Some people say, we had a Frontiere in the mind. And they go off and explore the wonderfull world of alcohol, and drugs, but, that's no Frontiere. It's just another way for us to fool ourselves... And we've created this phonyfrontiere with computers. Which allows people to think thay've escaped... Frontiere with acces fees...
— What about Space? The final Frontiere?
— Ah, Star Trek isn't Space. That's television. Find fucken Frontiere, that is. Besides, how many folks can just pack up, and go to Space? Naa, the Frontiere is just here, Interstate 60. That's why I was put here. Give people, who wanted a little different, place to go.

— How do you start a conversation with the girl of your dreams, without coming of like a total dork?
— Don's say anything. Let her start.

— Valerie McCabe, Yale '91. I've got a special rate for visitors, and I know I can win your case.
— You don't even know my case.
— The Madison case? Nuisance suit. Happens to visitors all the time. Fact is J. J. Madison doesn't even have a cat. He's allergic. I could have it thrown out in no time.
— Wait, he never had a cat? So, why's he going to sue somebody for it?
— Because he can. Every adult citizen of Morlaw is a lawyer, so everybody sues everybody else. It doesn't matter if there's a cause. It's how we ensure that everyone makes a living off their profession.
— Yeah, but that's insane.

— But look at them. They seam miserable to you. They live a simple, happy life. No decisions... no responsibilities... No problems... They found their answer. You so shure, that your life is better than thairs?
— It's like thay're animals.
— Oh yeah, we're all animals. Just that, some of us have different priorites. That's all.

16-year-old, in town with legal drugs, and a rave. Sorry, but I don't think he'll be at the library.

— 450 mile to Danver. Quarter tank of gas, and no money.
— Well, when Columbus set sail, he didn't know if it had any wind.