O. W. Grant – Character Quotes

— OK, so what's your game Mr Grant. 'Cause it seems like you know exactly what's gonna happen, just before it happens, and it's just like fucking with me!
— Oh, don't take it personal kid. I fuck with everybody. That's what I do. If I tie highly recommend it as an unending source of amusement.

Oh I say everything happens for a reason.

The truth is, you should always tell your wish. Kinda Karma thing. Put it out there, project it. Then it just might come true.

— OK, so how is it, we're on a highway, that is on any map, going to a towns, that presumably don't exist?
— Well, there are unlisted phone numbers, right? So, why can't there be unlisted highways and towns?
— I don't buy it. There's got to be a better explanation, than that.
— Better explanation. OK. How about it's a... parallel dimension. Or you're in a dream. Or it has something to do with your wish. Or... you're in a coma from when that bucket hit you. Or maybe... just maybe... You're dead.
— Well?
— Well, what do you want kid? I just gave you not one explanation, but six. All reasonable. You want an answer, pick one. It want change anything.

I consider myself an artist, too. I see life, as... Art appreciation. You know, some artist can't stand the sight of their work once it's finished. Me, I'm one of my own biggest fans.

Oh, let me tell you, the world is very different place, when you're not constantly thinking about sex. Or responding sexually to everything...

You should always find something to do, that you enjoy.

Some people just don't know what to wish for.

— It's a strange coincidence, seeing you here again.
— Only if you believe in coincidence. I prefer inevitability. Every event is inevitable. If it wasn't, it wouldn't happen.

— So what are you? Like an Angel or God, or something? Just, picking up certain people to give him a wish?
— No... no, just a guy who likes to mess with peoples heads. I'm a Joker... in life's deck.

Now one young couple wished to be married and live happily ever after. So I blew up their car at the church on the way to the honeymoon. Another guy he wanted great, perfect sex every day with his choice of gorgeous women — no pregnancies. So everyday he gets a FedEx delivery of a skin magazine and a box of tissues.

— You set in my car, with your own package. Why didn't you take it?
— Well, you made a deal. What kind of guy would I be if I caused you to... violate your blood oath? And, besides, it's the fact that you lost all your money... and you went to jail... you left to girl... ditched your car... All, to bring this to me? Makes it far more valuable. Now it has... stories to go with it. Well... Don't you want to know what's inside?
— I did before, but... doesn't really matter now... 'cause, whatever it is... won't be as good as the stories.
— Well seing as you understand that. I'll open it.

— 450 mile to Danver. Quarter tank of gas, and no money.
— Well, when Columbus set sail, he didn't know if it had any wind.