Valerie McCabe – Character Quotes

4 quotes
Valerie McCabe
Quoted in: 
Interstate 60
Actress: 
Deborah Odell

— Valerie McCabe, Yale '91. I've got a special rate for visitors, and I know I can win your case.
— You don't even know my case.
— The Madison case? Nuisance suit. Happens to visitors all the time. Fact is J. J. Madison doesn't even have a cat. He's allergic. I could have it thrown out in no time.
— Wait, he never had a cat? So, why's he going to sue somebody for it?
— Because he can. Every adult citizen of Morlaw is a lawyer, so everybody sues everybody else. It doesn't matter if there's a cause. It's how we ensure that everyone makes a living off their profession.
— Yeah, but that's insane.

- Valerie McCabe, Yale '91. I've got a special rate for visitors, and I know I can win your case. - You don't even know my case. - The Madison case? Nuisance suit. Happens to visitors all the time. Fact is J.J. Madison doesn't even have a cat. He's allergic. I could have it thrown out in no time. - Wait, he never had a cat? So, why's he going to sue somebody for it? - Because he can. Every adult citizen of Morlaw is a lawyer, so everybody sues everybody else. It doesn't matter if there's a cause. It's how we ensure that everyone makes a living off their profession. - Yeah, but that's insane.
- Valerie McCabe, Yale '91. I've got a special rate for visitors, and I know I can win your case. - You don't even know my case. - The Madison case? Nuisance suit. Happens to visitors all the time. Fact is J.J. Madison doesn't even have a cat. He's allergic. I could have it thrown out in no time. - Wait, he never had a cat? So, why's he going to sue somebody for it? - Because he can. Every adult citizen of Morlaw is a lawyer, so everybody sues everybody else. It doesn't matter if there's a cause. It's how we ensure that everyone makes a living off their profession. - Yeah, but that's insane.
Interstate 60
Valerie McCabe
Neal Oliver
Court, Judges

— I could sue you for that. You just made a defamatory remark about this town. Hey, are you looking at my legs? I could sue you for that too, sexual harassment.
— Is there anything you can't sue me for?
— Hire me. That way, everything between us is subject to attorney-client privilege. I'm $75 an hour. First hour is free.
— Well, at least you know my case. All right, you're hired.

- I could sue you for that. You just made a defamatory remark about this town. Hey, are you looking at my legs? I could sue you for that too, sexual harassment. - Is there anything you can't sue me for? - Hire me. That way, everything between us is subject to attorney-client privilege. I'm $75 an hour. First hour is free. - Well, at least you know my case. All right, you're hired.
- I could sue you for that. You just made a defamatory remark about this town. Hey, are you looking at my legs? I could sue you for that too, sexual harassment. - Is there anything you can't sue me for? - Hire me. That way, everything between us is subject to attorney-client privilege. I'm $75 an hour. First hour is free. - Well, at least you know my case. All right, you're hired.
Interstate 60
Valerie McCabe
Neal Oliver

— Okay, so if everyone who lives here is a lawyer, how do you live? I mean, who runs the grocery store? Who does your dry-cleaning? Who fixes the shitter when it breaks?
— Well, we all moonlight on the law-related jobs. You know, police, bailiffs, court reporters. But those other, trivial things you mentioned? They're done by people like you awaiting trial. It's the only way they can afford their legal fees.

- Okay, so if everyone who lives here is a lawyer, how do you live? I mean, who runs the grocery store? Who does your dry-cleaning? Who fixes the shitter when it breaks? - Well, we all moonlight on the law-related jobs. You know, police, bailiffs, court reporters. But those other, trivial things you mentioned? They're done by people like you awaiting trial. It's the only way they can afford their legal fees.
- Okay, so if everyone who lives here is a lawyer, how do you live? I mean, who runs the grocery store? Who does your dry-cleaning? Who fixes the shitter when it breaks? - Well, we all moonlight on the law-related jobs. You know, police, bailiffs, court reporters. But those other, trivial things you mentioned? They're done by people like you awaiting trial. It's the only way they can afford their legal fees.
Interstate 60
Neal Oliver
Valerie McCabe