Good Omens – Series Quotes

— You've lost the boy.
— WE've lost.
— A child has been lost.

— Animals.
— Animals don’t kill each other with clever machines, Angel. Only humans do that.

Most books on witchcraft will tell you that witches work naked. This is because most books on witchcraft are written by men.

— You say "I arrest you, anything you say blah, blah, blah".
— Blah, blah, blah?
— Good job, you're arresting me.
— What?
— Yeah, you said "blah, blah, blah".

Not very subtle of the Almighty, though. Fruit tree in the middle of a garden with a "Don't Touch" sign. I mean, why not put it on the top of high mountain? Or on the moon?

Right, I'm gonna formally declare this meeting of the Whickber Street shopkeepers, thingy over.

...unless they send out the Angel Gabriel now, they are toast! T-O-S-T-E. Toast.

God does not play dice with the universe. I plan an ineffable game of my own devising. For everyone else, it's like playing poker in a pitch-dark room, for infinite stakes, with a dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.

— Ciao!
— What's that mean?
— "Ciao", it's Italian. It means "food".

What's the point in creating an infinite universe with trillions of star systems if you're only gonna let it run for a few thousand years? The engine won't have properly warmed up by then.

— Was it always this easy?
— Easy?
— I keep planning complicated strategic strikes to spread misery and panic among the humans and just as I'm about to put one into motion, they come up with something themselves, which is so much worse than anything I could have thought of.
— Yeah, always this easy.

— We are here to lick some serious butt.
— "Kick", Aziraphale. It's "kick butt". For Heaven's sake. Oh! I can't believe I just said that.

— Why don't you wait inside? You like waiting inside.
— I don't think so. You've got an amnesiac Archangel hiding out in your bookshop. I spent last night worrying If he's going to wake up. What if he remembers who he is, what if he's faking it? He could smite me. When Gabriel smites you, you've been... Smited? Smut?
— Smitten. I believe.

— You're making him risk his entire existence for you.
— Oh, dear. I really am sorry. Is there anything I can do?
— Oh, yeah. Now. Jump out of that window.