Joey Tribbiani – Character Quotes

— I gotta tell you, you are nothing like I thought you'd be.
— How do you mean?
— I had you pegged as a guy who's always, "Me, me, me!" But you, you're a giver. You're the most generous man I ever met. I mean, you're practically a woman.
— You're just saying that.

— Are you naked in there?
— Well, not exactly. I'm wearing panties.
— Huh. You, uh, always wear panties?
— No, no. This is the first time.
— Wow. Talk about your bad luck! I mean, the first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes.

— It never takes me more than a week to get over a relationship.
— It never takes you more than a shower to get over a relationship.

— Your dad's in love. The worst part is, it's with two different women.
— Oh, man! Please tell me one of them is Ma.

— You wanna get her something special? Get her flowers. Get her candy. Get her gum. Girls love gum.
— That's a good idea. "Dear Janice: Have a Hubba-Bubba birthday."

— So I figured it out.
— What?
— Why Scott doesn't want to sleep with me. I'm not sexy enough.
— Phoebe, that's crazy. When I first met you, you know what I said?
— What?
— I said, "Excellent butt, great rack."

Every time she starts laughing, I just wanna... pull my arm off so I have something to throw at her.

Face your fear. You have a fear of heights? Go to the top of the building. You're afraid of bugs. Get a bug.

— I got you something.
— What's this?
— Eight hundred and twelve bucks.
— I don't know what Big Leon told you, but it's a thousand... if you want me for the whole night.

— Look at this! My Big Book of Grievances.
— Hey, there's me! "April 17th, excessive noise... Italian guy comes home with a date." You're in here too.
— "April 18th, excessive noise... Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry cleaning." Well, that's excellent.

If you're gonna do something wrong... do it right.

— Oh. Have either of you ever been to the Rainbow Room? Is it expensive?
— Only if you order stuff.

— Hey, Angela.
— Joey.
— You look good.
— That's because l' m wearing a dress that accents my boobs.
— You don't say.

— Monica, relax. Go get a beer.
— I don't want a beer.
— Who said it was for you?

— Anyone know a good date place in the neighborhood?
— How about Tony's? If you finish a 32-ounce steak, it's free.
— Anyone know a good place if you're not dating a puma?

— I don't know what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.
— Just say what you feel, Joey.
— Marcel, I'm hungry.