Scrubs – Series Quotes [Season 2]

— Good God. Someone vomited on my hotdog.
— It's chilli, Dad, OK? And you know what? I appreciate everything you've given me, but it's my life. Now stop complaining and enjoy your damn meal.

It's not always easy to do the right thing. <...> Like putting someone else's feelings first for a change. Even if it goes against what you really want. Of course, there's always ramifications. <...> Even if you do the right thing, there's no guarantee it'll turn out right.

Your problem isn't making bad choices. It's that you identify the good choice and then intentionally do the opposite. You see, behind this boorish bravado of yours is a paralysing fear
of letting anyone into your life. And it isn't because you weren't loved when you were a kid. You're so egocentric that the love wasn't enough. So you pulled pigtails and you pushed the fat kids into the dirt so no one could ignore little Perry. Well, little Perry is now 40 years old and is so invested in this narcissistic notion of yourself as "loner" that you can't quit. And you'll just keep dumping on everyone around you until eventually, and please, trust me on this, there won't be anyone left.

Sometimes just making a decision is half the battle.

— Good job, DJ.
— You know, it's JD, OK? At least I remember the names of all my sezual partners.
— I'm sure that girl from high school and your bunkmate from Camp Morning Wood are both extremely grateful. Yeah.
— Camp Meadow Wood. I made a lanyard.

Of course I'm holding back! I'm insane, you idiot. Remember when you told me I had pit stains? I've cried every 15 minutes on the half-hour since you told me. I am racked with self-doubt, I'm claustrophobic, germophobic, phobia-phobic. I talk to myself, I talk to my cat, I talk to three separate shrinks about the fact that my cats respond to me in my mother's voice, and yesterday, when that stupid, pretty surgical nurse handed you latex gloves, I almost killed a guy I was stitching up because I couldn't stop thinking about you having sex on a box of steaks. Why a box of steaks? My dad had an affair with a female butcher. And, as I mentioned before, I am insane. There, I opened up. Are you happy?

Mistake or not, one cool thing about sex is it always puts you in a good mood.

It's impossible to actually lie next to Jordan seeing as she sleeps hanging upside down from the ceiling wrapped in a cocoon of her own wings.

But still, you might be better served, and this is a crazy notion, if you could stop worrying so much about who does and doesn't notice you. Even for a second.

Cos even if it breaks your heart to be just friends, if you really care about someone, you'll take the hit.

Maybe it's because telling the truth would make 'em feel too vulnerable.

...but I put my underwear in the microwave to dry them off and they feel good!

Now, you went to four years of college and four years of medical school, so I can safely presume that you are at least eight.

...if you do not get to the point where you have the courage to take risks, you will never be a great doctor.

— Plomox is the most effective anti-arrhythmic drug on the market, and it has minimal side effects, only nausea, impotence, and anal leakage.
— I'm getting two out of three from the conversation.