— Why should we do a story about you?
— 'Cause I'm so fucking good! That ain't no shit neither. I've done got me one hundred and fifty-seven dead gooks killed. And fifty water buffaloes, too. Them're all certified.
— Any women or children?
— Sometimes.
— How can you shoot women and children?
— Easy. You just don't lead 'em so much.
You know, half these gook whores are serving officers in the Viet Cong. The other half have got T. B. Make sure you only fuck the ones that cough.
— What's your name, scumbag?
— Sir, Private Brown, sir.
— Bullshit. From now on you're Private Snowball. Do you like that name?
— Sir, yes, sir.
— Well, there's one thing that you won't like, Snowball: They don't serve fried chicken and watermelon... on a daily basis in my mess hall.
— Sir, yes, sir.
Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist-shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here... who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy-fucking-godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will P. T. You all until you fucking die. I'll P. T. You until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Was it you, you scroungy little fuck?
— Is that you, John Wayne? Is this me?
— Who said that? Who the fuck said that? Who's the slimy little communist-shit, twinkle-toed cocksucker down here... who just signed his own death warrant? Nobody, huh? The fairy-fucking-godmother said it. Out-fucking-standing. I will P. T. You all until you fucking die. I'll P. T. You until your assholes are sucking buttermilk. Was it you, you scroungy little fuck?
— Sir, no, sir.
— You piece of shit. You look like a fucking worm. I'll bet it was you.
— Sir, no, sir.
— Sir, I said it, sir.
— Well, no shit. What have we got here? A fucking comedian. Private Joker. I admire your honesty. Hell, I like you. You can come over to my house and fuck my sister. You little scumbag. I've got your name. I've got your ass. You will not laugh. You will not cry. You will learn by the numbers. I will teach you. Now get up. Get on your feet. You best unfuck yourself or I will unscrew your head and shit down your neck.
— Private Joker, why did you join my Corps?
— Sir, to kill, sir.
— So you're a killer?
— Sir, yes, sir.
— Let me see your war face.
— Sir?
— You've got a war face? Aaaa! That's a war face. Now let me see your war face.
— Aaa!
— Bullshit. You didn't convince me. Let me see your real war face.
— Aaaa!
— You don't scare me. Work on it.
— I am Gunnery Sergeant Hartman, your senior drill instructor. From now on, you will speak only when spoken to... and the first and last words out of your filthy sewers will be "sir." Do you maggots understand that?
— Sir, yes, sir.
— Bullshit. I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair.
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