Lassard: — What is the most frustrating thing about police work?
Tackleberry: — Not being able to carry hand grenades.
Callahan: — Separate locker rooms, sir.
Mahoney: — Icky blue uniforms.
Lassard: — I always thought that the most frustrating thing was that... we couldn't be everywhere at once to solve every crime.
— Mahoney! I've already told you once — nobody screws with me.
— Well, maybe you'll meet the right girl and that'll change?
— Okay, now there's anther car. Hightower? Hightower?! What? You didn't hit the brakes.
— You didn't tell me to.
Mauser: — At this point in time... yours truly was the object of a malicious prank. Now... can anybody in here tell me how this happened?-
Carey Mahoney: — I can, sir. And if you don't stop that, you could go blind.
Mauser: — You think that's funny, don't you, Mahoney? Well, you're on report. Put him on report. We are not gonna leave this room until we find out what happened. What happened?
Pete Lassard: — What's going on here?
Mauser: — Nothing. I was just reprimanding the men.
Pete Lassard: — To hell with your reprimands.
Mauser: — You don't understand.
Pete Lassard: — Shut up, I have something to say.
Mauser: — Would you take a look at my hands?
Pete Lassard: — I think that's a matter of personal hygiene. I am talking about public safety.
