Agent K – Character Quotes

— You do know Elvis is dead?
— No, Elvis is not dead. He just went home.

A thousand years ago everybody knew as a fact, that the earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, they knew it was flat. Fifteen minutes ago, you knew we humans were alone on it. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.

— And you handle this.
— What? Me?
— Yeah, it's easy. You just catch.
— Are you sure he knows what he's doing?
— He does it all the time. Let the man work.

You know, you're much too tense. You're a young man. You need to relax. Learn to take some joy in your work.

— You sold a carbonizer with implosion capacity to an unlicensed cephlapoid.
— He looked all right to me.

— They're beautiful, aren't they?
— What?
— The stars. We never just look anymore.

— Let her go, shit-eater.
— Listen, monkey boy, compared to you humans, I'm on the top rung of the evolutionary ladder. So can it, all right?
— You're breaking my heart. Show me your face, and I'll cure all your ills.
— You ever pull wings off a fly? You care to see the fly get even?

— You don't remember me, but we worked together.
— I never worked in a funeral home. Something I can do for you, slick?

— Before y'all beam me up, there's a few things to understand. First off, you chose me, so you recognize the skills. l don't want nobody calling me «son» or «kid» or «sport». Cool?
— Cool. Whatever, slick. But I need to tell you something|about all your skills. As of right now, they mean precisely... dick.

— All right, we got two dead aliens. And a deputy medical examiner needs a new memory.
— Yes, sir.
— Make it a happy memory.