In France no one calls me a fat jerk! I'm a gourmand!
— The camera adds ten pounds.
— So how many cameras are actually on you?
You're not funny, Tom. You're fat. And look as though you should be, but you're not.
— Why do you drink so much?
— Because it's not fattening and it's not good for me.
At least I’m not American fat, I’m interesting European delicatessen fat!