How does a woman keep herself attractive and not starve?
Quoted in:
Actor:
— Wait. Money for cab fare.
— That's okay. It's cheaper to get mugged. Let's walk.
— I hope you enjoyed the chocolates.
— I gave them to a girl.
— So did I. I thought.
— I'm just afraid you'll burn in hell for this.
— I don't believe in hell. I believe in unemployment.
— Why do you drink so much?
— Because it's not fattening and it's not good for me.
— Did somebody die?
— Violinist.
— I didn't know he was that sick.
— He wasn't. He asked for a raise.
— Do you worry about using so much heavy make-up on your skin all the time?
— No. I don't worry. I have a little... mustache problem I'm real sensitive to. Probably just too many male hormones or something.
— Well, some men find that attractive.
— I know, I know. I just don't like the men that find it attractive.
— That was two years ago, and that guy's an idiot!
— They can't all be idiots. You argue with everybody! You've got one of the worst reputations in this town. Nobody will hire you.
— Are you saying that nobody in New York will work with me?
— Nobody in Hollywood will either. I can't even get you a commercial. You played a tomato, and they went over schedule because you wouldn't sit.
— Yes, it wasn't logical.
— You were a tomato! A tomato doesn't have logic. It can't move!
— So if he can't move, how's he going to sit down? I was a stand-up tomato. A juicy, sexy, beefsteak tomato! Nobody does vegetables like me! I did vegetables off-Broadway! I did the best tomato, the best cucumber! I did an endive salad that knocked the critics on their ass!
— I'm just an untalented old has-been.
— Were you ever famous?
— No.
— Then how can you be a has-been?
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