Look at me, jerking off in the shower... This will be the high point of my day; it's all downhill from here.
— Where's this money coming from?
— I'm helping out at the NYU Med School with research.
— What kind of research?
— Just, you know, science.
— Science. Yeah, I think I've heard of that.
— It's a fertility study.
— Joey, please tell me you're only donating your time.
— Actually, a little more than that.
— Thank you, God. This will bring us so much joy.
— Come on, it's not that big a deal. I just go down there every other day... and make my contribution to the project. But at the end of two weeks, I get $700!
— You're gonna be making money hand over fist.
— That's funny. Very funny.
— This is great. I actually know somebody who loves what they do.
— But what do you do to unwind after a tough day at work?
I don’t know exactly what masturbation is or how it works, but I guess it probably feels a lot like the wind in your hair or driving really fast in a car or taking a bite out of your favorite food or dancing with your friends or singing your favorite song or riding the bus or looking out of windows. Now, why would you ever say no to that?