Oh, Harold, use your awesome might. Save me from this hopeless plight.
— So, what do you do for a living?
— Uh, I'm retired. I invented dice when I was a kid.
— Harry, I was thinking some more about this reality versus fiction.
— Oh, is that a fact.
— Like in the movies, when a guy sticks a gun at some schmuck's back and says: «Let's take a walk». He's got a hostage.
— I've seen that movie.
— In reality, the pros like about five feet of separation.
— Right, huh?
— That's so the schmuck doesn't take the gun back and make him eat it.
That's it. That's the true story of what happened last Christmas. That was some pretty harsh shit with the old guy back there, right? But whatever, he's creepy. Fuck him. Don't worry about him. Anyhow, so... Thanks for coming. Thanks for taking the trip to L. A. with me. If I had to sum it up, and I do-Because, you know, it's, like, the end. I would say that this movie is about — it's about friendship. Friendship is sacred.
Captain Fucking Magic...
— I steal shit.
— Come again?
— That's what I do for a living. I steal audio-visual components. I steal. I robbed a house. [shows his watch] I stole this watch. It's a cool watch. It's got this little light thing. I stole this gum from the lobby, because it was kind of a rush. I've never finished anything that I've started my entire life. Not school, not marriage, nothing. And I have this thing where, like halfway in the middle, I just and I cut and run.
— Like the other night when you were all over me and you gave up and just went for it with...
— Prime example. I switched to the ugly friend. Homely friend. She's not ugly. She's homely. Don't go. Please. Not yet. This isn't finished.
— Turn around.
— Why?
— Just turn around.
— What, my tag's out?
— This dump have a bar?
— Yeah.
— I want you to picture a bullet inside your head. Can you do that for me?
— Fuck you. Anyway, that's ambiguous.
— Ambiguous? I don't think so.
<...>
— I don't know anything about a girl, seriously. I was bluffing.
— I think that you are bluffing right now.
— Harry, what are you doing?
— What I'm doing for the guy who likes to bluff is I'm playing a little game called «Am I Bluffing»? Huh! Where is she? Where the fuck is Harmony? You want to play hardball? Where is the girl?
— What did you just do?
— I just put in one bullet, didn't I?
— You put a live round in that gun?
— Yeah, there was like an 8 percent chance.
— Eight? Who taught you math?
— Oh, that's a bit of a reach. I'm interrupting. I feel badly. What are you drinking?
— Bad.
— Bad? Sorry?
— You feel bad.
— Bad?
— "Badly" is an adverb. To say you feel badly says that the mechanism which allows you to feel is broken.
— That it?
— No. That's the other corpse, from the last guy who stayed here.
— What were you thinking? My $2000 ceramic Vektor my mother got me as a special gift you threw next to the car. What happens when they drag the lake? You think they'll find my pistol? Jesus. Look up "idiot" in the dictionary. You know what you'll find?
— A picture of me?
— No, the definition of the word "idiot," which you fucking are.
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