— Can we maybe put the phones down and have an actual human conversation?
— We can, but thanks to Steve Jobs we don't have to.
— Sheldon, think this through. You're going to ask Howard to choose between sex and Halo.
— No, I'm going to ask him to choose between sex and Halo 3. As far as I know sex has not been upgraded to include high-def graphics and enhanced weapons systems.
— You're right, all sex has is nudity, orgasms and human contact.
— My point.
Two of the brightest stars in the night sky are Altair and Vega. And it is said they were deeply in love but forever separated by the celestial river of the Milky Way. But once a year, on the seventh day of the seventh month, Vega cries so hard that all the magpies in the world fly up and create a bridge with their wings so the two lovers can be together for a single night of passion.
You know what vegan chicken and rice is?! It's rice!
Our whole universe was in a hot dense state,
Then nearly fourteen billion years ago expansion started. Wait...
The Earth began to cool,
The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools,
We built a wall (we built the pyramids),
Math, science, history, unraveling the mysteries,
That all started with the big bang!
You know, there's a foundational idea in string theory that the whole universe may be a hologram. Well, the holographic principle suggests that what we all experience every day in three dimensions may really just be information on a surface located at the farthest reaches of our cosmos. So it's possible that our lives are really just acting out a painting on the largest canvas in the universe.
— You are not Isaac Newton.
— No, no, that’s true. Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple.
— Why are you crying?
— Because I’m stupid!
— That’s no reason to cry. One cries because one is sad. For example, I cry because others are stupid, and that makes me sad.
— Woman, you're playing with forces beyond your ken.
— Your Ken can kiss my Barbie.
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