— You look taller in your photographs
— I take the precaution of a good coat and a short friend.
— We should call the police.
— Yes.[Shoots five times in the air] On their way.
— I was a soldier. I killed people.
— You were a doctor!
— I had bad days!
— Just once, can you two behave like grown-ups?
— We solve crimes, I blog about it, and he forgets his pants. I wouldn't hold out too much hope.
— Punch me in the face,
— Punch you?
— Yes, punch me in the face. Didn't you hear me?
— I always hear "punch me" when you speak but it's usually sub-text.
— When did we agree that?
— We agreed it yesterday.
— I wasn't even at home yesterday. I was in Dublin!
— It's hardly my fault you weren't listening.
At Buckingham Palace. Right. I am seriously fighting an impulse to steal an ashtray.
The inscription: "Crime in progress. Please disturb."
— Mr Holmes, if it was the end of the world, if this was the very last night... would you have dinner with me?
— Too late.
— That's not the end of the world, that's Mrs Hudson.
— You don't actually think I was interested in you? Why? Because you're the great Sherlock Holmes, the clever detective in the funny hat?
— No. Because I took your pulse.
This is far more intimate, this is your heart and you should never let it rule your head. You could have chosen any number and walked out with everything. But you just couldn't resist it, could you?
— First get rid of your boys.
— I dislike being outnumbered, it makes for too much stupid in the room.
— And exactly how many times did he fell out of the window?
— It sort a bit of a blur, Detective Inspector. I lost count.
He will outlive God trying to have the last word.
Give Sherlock five minutes on your crime scene, and listen to everything that he has to say. And as far as possible... try not to punch him.
— Smoking indoors, isn't there one of those... One of those law things?
— We're in a morgue. There's only so much damage you can do.
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