Sherlock: Funny Quotes

Anderson, don't talk out loud. You lower the IQ of the whole street!

— Shut up.
— I didn't say anything.
— You were thinking. It's annoying.

— I need to get some air. We're going out tonight.
— Actually I've got a date.
— What?
— It's where two people who like each other go out and have fun.
— That's what I was suggesting.
— No it wasn't. At least I hope not.

— I will burn the heart out of you.
— I have been reliably informed that I don't have one.

— So why are you talking to me?
— Mrs Hudson took my skull.
— So I'm basically filling in for your skull?
— Relax, you're doing fine.

— No, no, no! Course he's not the boy's father. Look at turn-ups on his jeans!
— I knew it was dangerous. Getting you into crap telly.

— Run! Take my hand.
— Now people will definitely talk.

Sally came round for a nice little chat and just happened to stay over. And I assume she scrubbed your floors, going by the state of her knees.

— No, I know you for real.
— 100 percent?
— Well, nobody could fake being such an annoying dick all the time.

What now? I'm in shock — look, I've got a blancket. And I just caught you a serial killer.

[Looking at the mannequin hanging by the throat]
— So did you just talk to him for a really long time?

— That was the doorbell. Couldn't you hear it?
— It's in the fridge. It kept ringing.
— Oh, that's not a fault, Sherlock!

— Now, serviettes... Swan or Sydney Opera House?
— Where did you learn that?
— Many skills are required in the field of criminal investigation.
— Fibbing, Sherlock.
— I once broke an alibi by demonstrating the exact severity of a fold...
— I'm not John, I can tell when you're fibbing.
— OK, I learn it on YouTube.

— You look taller in your photographs
— I take the precaution of a good coat and a short friend.

— We should call the police.
— Yes.[Shoots five times in the air] On their way.

— Don't staring.
— You're staring!
— We can't both stare.