Kazuma Satou – Character Quotes

Kazuma: — If you need to go to the bathroom, let us know!
Aqua: — Arch priests don't go to the bathroom!
Megumin: — It sounds like she's doing fine. By the way, crimson demons don't go to the bathroom, either.
Kazuma: — Did you used to be idols or something?
Darkness: — M-Me, neither. I'm a crusader, so I don't... I don't...
Kazuma: — Darkness, don't try so hard to deny it.

— This dullahan is just as shrewd as I thought he was!
— What?
— He's been shaving away at my armor a little at a time for a while now. Instead of stripping me nude, he's left only parts of my armor intact, leaving me in an even more provocative state than nakedness to publicly shame me!

Aqua: — You're awfully cocky for an undead!
Beldia: — Do you think low-level adventurer's magic can...
Aqua: — Turn Undead!
Beldia: — Gah!!!
Aqua: — Hey, Kazuma, this is weird! It's not working!
Kazuma: — No, it looked pretty effective to me. He went "Gah!" and all.

— You at least got halfway through, so you're fine!
— What are you talking about? Crimson demons don't use the bathroom.
— You're saying that now?! I'm already at my limit here!
— I thought that might happen, so I brought this. Please use it.

— We didn't come here to be laborers.
— Oh, that's right! I need you to defeat the Devil King, or I'll never be able to go home!

— No matter what monster it is, it'll be no match for this guy and me. Isn't that right, my partner... uh... Kikuichimonji? Kogarasumaru?
— Chunchunmaru.
— Say what, now?
— I said Chunchunmaru. This sword's name is Chunchunmaru.
— There's no way I can give it such a goofy name! As my preferred blade, it needs a suitably cool name...
— From now on, your sword's name is Chunchunmaru.
— Wh-What the hell did you just do?!

— Trouble, Kazuma! Major trouble!
— Who are you?

Kazuma: — What's with the eyepatch? If you're injured, why don't we have her heal you? Her one strong suit is healing magic.
Aqua: — My «one»?!
Megumin: — This is the magic item that suppresses my mighty magical powers. If I were ever to take this off, a great catastrophe would surely befall this world.
Kazuma: — So it's like a seal?
Megumin: — Well, that was a lie. I just wear it for looks.

— What is it? Some kind of magic item?
— It's a portable toilet accessory that lets you deal with nature's call while on the road. It even grants a degree of privacy by making sounds with running water.
— What the heck?! That's awesome!
— Its flaw is that the sound it creates to mask your business is so loud, it attracts monsters, and the mechanism for generating water is so powerful that it causes a localized disaster.
— Does nothing in this store work without any problems?!

Don't blame me! It's your fault for being a magnet to undead!

— What?! What's wrong?! Hey, Aqua, what happened?! Are you all right?
— Kazuma! This is super expensive alcohol that I've been saving. I was looking forward to taking leisurely sips of it after my bath... But when I came back to my room, as you can see, it was empty!
— I see. Goodnight, then. See you tomorrow.
— This is the work of evil spirits! I'm going to go look around the mansion and strike down any spirits that catch my eye!