It is physically impossible for me to take a bad picture. I don't know why, just ask God.
— He's the awesomest, most best-lookingest, greatest guy ever!
— He's exactly like Barney.
— That's what I just said.
You and Marshall belong together. The two of you have something most people search their whole lives for and never find. I know you love him and if you knew what he was going through right now you wouldn’t be here for one more second. I bought you a ticket home. Marshall is one of the best people I know and it won’t be long until someone else realizes that and you will lose him forever.
I realized that I’m searching, searching for what I really want in life. And you know what? I have absolutely no idea what that is.
Sometimes we search for one thing but discover another.
Whenever I’m sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.
The rules for dating are the same as the rules for Gremlins. Rule 1: Never get them wet: in other words, don't let her shower at your place. Rule 2: Keep them away from sunlight: i.e., never see them during the day. Rule 3: Never feed them after midnight: meaning she doesn't sleep over and you don't have breakfast with her. Ever!
Open your brain–tank brah, 'cause here comes some premium 91 octane knowledge. There are three rules of cheating: It's not cheating if you're not the one who's married, it's not cheating if her name has two adjacent vowels, and it's not cheating if she's from a different area code. You're fine on all three counts.