Well, believe it or not, I got a flamethrower in my toolshed.
— I'm in this firefight, this trooper, he always carried a Bible next to his heart. We used to mock him. That Bible stopped a bullet.
— No shit.
— Hand to God, that Bible stopped a bullet. It would have ruined that fucker's heart. And had he had another Bible in front of his face, that man would be alive today.
— You're too hard on yourself.
— No, I'm not. I'm just stupid and ugly and I have a pig face.