— Last month he robbed a bus full of foreigners while they were looking at Vesuvius' smoke.
— But Vesuvius is dead.
— He made it smoke. With a wood fire.
— Police. We've had some complaints about con men pretending to be blind and crippled.
— Oh, I'd love to help you, man, but I ain't seen nothing since I stepped on that landmine in Vietcong back in '72. It was rough, very painful.
— You were in Nam? So were we. Where?
— I was in Sang Bang, Dang Gong. I was all over that place, basically a lot of places, a lot of places.
— What unit were you in?
— I was with the Green Berets, Special Unit Battalion's Commando Airborne Tactics Specialist Tactics Unit Battalion. Yeah, it was real hush-hush. I was Agent Orange. That was my name, Agent Orange. Special Agent Orange, that was me.
— Airborne, huh?
— I can see! I can see! I have... I have legs. I have... Oh shit, look at this. Man! I can walk. Jesus, praise Jesus.
— This is the United States of America, kid. I set the price, and it's $200.
— I know where I live, man. I'm just saying, you ain't selling what you say you're selling.
— Listen, kid, I did two tours. I think I know a Russian AK when I see one. You want to buy something? Why don't you go buy yourself a soda pop?
— Hey, Dad! Check this out. The gas cylinder on the Russian AK — has four escape holes.
— Right.
— The Egyptian Maadi has two.
— True.
— This here, be an Egyptian AK. Ain't nothing Russian about it.
— Okay, playtime's over. You see the little fat man in the Ray-Bans back here? Now, I say the word, you and junior here are kissing asphalt in the parking lot.
— Let me ask you something. Little fat man in the Ray-Bans have any idea you're hustling off Egyptian AKs to a 14-year-old boy?
— $150.
— Done. For both.
— $150 for two AKs?
— Two fake AKs, friend.
— I'll lose my goddamn shirt.
— Ah, that's better than losing your goddamn license.
— Oh, you're a real fucking prick.