I feel the same way about being a bridesmaid as you feel about Botox. Painful and unnecessary.
— I can't believe that my life revolves around a man. On what planet did I allow that to happen?
— But you love him.
— Does that mean saying his name 50 times more a day than I say my own? Does it mean worrying about him and his needs before me and mine? Is it all about the other person? Is that love?
— No, that's marriage.
The sense of power is such a turn on — maybe you’re on your knees, but you got him by the balls.
— Relationships aren't just about being happy. I mean, how often are you happy in your relationship?
— I'm pretty sure that's to you.
— Every day.
— You feel happy every day?
— Not all day every day, but yes, every day.
I'm going to tell you something, there's two types of guys out there, the ones that hold your hand and the ones that fuck you.
— I'm thirty-five!
— Oh, shut the fuck up, I'm a hundred and forty.
— I lost my orgasm.
— In the cab?