— You hired Goodkat to kill my son.
— After you murdered my son.
— I had no hand in that.
— Oh, sure.
— Just like in '84. I suppose you had no hand in that, either. Just a finger, maybe.
— Well, there's this guy and they call him The Boss, right, and then right across the street, there's this man they call The Rabbi.
— Why do they call him The Rabbi?
— Because he's a Rabbi. So now I have to "take out," to use the vernacular, The Fairy in order to scratch a debt that isn't even mine. And if that's not enough, I have 48 hours to come up with $33,000 or The Rabbi's gonna... I don't know who Mr. Smith is. And the worst part about it is I'm not Nick Fisher.
— Ironic.
— I know. I don't even gamble.
— No. I mean the mobster having a gay son. That's ironic.
— I knew you had sense.
— Sense is something you have when you have a choice. Sometimes.
— Sometimes it's when you know you don't.
— Anyway, I have to have my answer to The Boss in the morning.
— What are you gonna say?
— I'm gonna say what any man with two penises would say when his tailor asks him if he dresses to the right or to the left.
— What's that?
— Yes.
— You should run.
— I can't.
— They'll kill you if you stay.
— They'll kill me if I leave.
— Then go to the police!
— These guys buy cops like cops buy doughnuts. This isn't the first time this has happened, you know?
— You mean this isn't the first time a crime lord asked you to kill the gay son of a rival gangster to pay off a debt that belongs to a friend whose place you're staying in as a result of losing your job, your apartment, and finding your girlfriend in bed with another guy?
— Do you know for what reason you've been brought here?
— For starters, I'm unlucky.
— The unlucky are nothing more than a frame of reference for the lucky, Mr. Fisher. You are unlucky so that I may know that I am not. Unfortunately, the lucky never realize they are lucky until it's too late. Take yourself, for instance. Yesterday, you were better off than you are today, but it took today for you to realize it, but today has arrived, and it's too late. You see? People are never happy with what they have. They always want what they had, what someone else has.
— I didn't think you'd understand.
— I'd have understood.
— How'd you find out about us?
— I'm a world-class assassin, fuckhead.
Wait, hold on, hold on. Man, I ain't asking nobody nothin'! Nick, Slevin, Clark Kent, whatever the fuck your name is. The Virgin Mary herself could come waltzin' up in here with her fine ass, titties hanging out and everything, and if she told me your name was Jesus Christ, I still gotta take you to see The Boss.
— What's a Kansas City Shuffle?
— Kansas City Shuffle is when everybody looks right and you go left.
— Where's Nick?
— I don't know. He was supposed to meet me here. He never showed up.
— How'd you get in?
— Door was open.
— Door was open?
— Yeah.
— Open or unlocked?
— I don't remember.
— But you said open.
— Could've been. Hey, what was your name again?
— Lindsey. I live across the hall. I came over to borrow a cup of sugar.
— Where's your cup?
— I said I came over to borrow a cup of sugar. If I'd brought a cup, then I would've said I came over to borrow sugar.
— Touché.
— Wait, I just have one question. I wasn't frisked.
— ...
— I see. So being a rabbi, a religious man...
— There are three things that you may not do in order to save a life, including his own. He may not idol worship, commit adultery, or perform an act of premeditated murder. Killing you
before you killed me would've been...
— Kosher.
— Acceptable.
— Hey, don't stop on my account.
— Slevin. It was an accident.
— What, like he tripped and you fell?