The other thing about depression is it kind of collapses time. Suddenly, you find your whole days blending together to create one endless and suffocating loop. So you find yourself trying to remember the things that made you happy. But slowly, your brain begins to erase every memory that ever brought you joy. And eventually, all you can think about is how life has always been this way.
And will only continue to be this way.
Year:
2019
Country:
USA
Genres:
Drama
A look at life for a group of high school students as they grapple with issues of drugs, sex and violence.
The thought of having to stand up, exert 172 muscles each step for 35 feet, just so I can sit on cold porcelain and piss out toxins over and over again for the rest of my life makes the whole concept of living feel like one long, sadistic joke.
But the absolute worst part of depression is that even though you know you're depressed, you're unable to stop yourself from getting worse.
If I could be a different person, I promise you, I would.
That moment when your breath starts to slow. And every time you breathe, you breathe out all the oxygen you have.
And everything stops: your heart, your lungs, then finally, your brain. And everything you feel, and wish, and want to forget, it all just sinks.
And then suddenly you give it air again, give it life again.
90% of life is confidence, and the thing about confidence is that no one knows if it's real or not.
You know, I mean, like, is one of us gonna get hurt? Yeah, probably... But I'll do my best to make sure that it's me.
— Do you like it?
— I feel stupid!
— Everyone feels stupid, who cares.
— You feel stupid?
— Yeah, I did. And then, I just chose not to feel stupid.
Rue Bennett: You are so fucking stupid, Lexi.
Lexi Howard: Why?
Rue Bennett: 'Cause I already flushed everything down the fucking toilet.
Lexi Howard: Well, I just came to check on you.
Rue Bennett: I don't want... I don't want you to fucking check on me, whether I'm fine or I'm not fine. What difference are you going to make? Are-are you going to give me a life advice? You gonna fucking help me?
Lexi Howard: Well, you're one of my best friends.
Rue Bennett : Give me a fucking break. 'Cause we went to fucking pre-school together? That does not make us best fucking friends.
Lexi Howard: You say all this, but what happens in three days when you knock on my door asking me to piss in some Tylenol bottle? What, you're gonna say the opposite? How we've known each other since pre-school and we're best friends? It's like you have a split personality disorder. Sorry if I miss the old you.
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